LESSON LEARNED MAY 26, 2009 2am

" Never say I LOVE YOU to someone unless you have faith and full trust in him"
-DEEPAN KUMAR

Live by the Moment

There are things in life that you need to settle on your own. In as much as you wanted people you love to be there for you...and in as much as they wanted to be there when you call the universe will not let it happen...so i'll deal with it

tonight...after a roller coaster day, i end up in a mall coffee shop alone. while i was walking inside, i realized i was walking super fast missing a lot of things along the way....then i decided to slow-down, i heard a small voice inside me saying what's the rush?...life is too short to let beautiful, interesting things to pass you by unnoticed...they won't come back again and you would be losing a big deal of life's presents.

that's what's happening to me now. i work and do things in an impossibly fast pace and i'm missing a lot of things that matters...im at the top step of my department's corporate ladder at 29 years old...that's an achievement. i am happy and really proud with what i have achieved. but i miss doing a lot of things...trekking, lying for hours in a white sand beach under a beautiful starry night, i miss slowly biting and chewing a freshly baked donut coz i need to eat really fast..i miss my best friend Babe been really awhile since we get to talk about things, about life and about each other...i miss people watching and making stories based on how they act and react from a distance...i miss living by the moment.

two days ago, my other bestfriend Sid told me i should keep the balance and encouraged me to get a yoga DVD that i could use on my trips.. but i didnt find one in the nearest record bars but i got myself a Tai-Chi dvd instead...since then i've been doing it twice a day...by doing so it allowed me to slow down yet recharging a lot of good energy inside and outside my body making me stronger inside out..

wow...i sooooooo love this moment...and i think, i should do this often..

Part 1: My 101 Dreams

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888)

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Someday...all this will be mine.. I would live with it...love it and keep it for the rest of my life.



1. Be Founder/CEO of my own Foundation for Kids. Retiring and dying working and having fun with them. It would be the happiest death the world will see.

2. Be Kahlil's ultimate idol, best friend and instrument in becoming the person he wanted to become. He is actualized because he knows he can be anyone he wanted to become because he can be and because he knows no matter what he can find strength in himself. I am just there... constant... believing... supporting... guiding... inspiring him far beyond eternity.

3. Love and be loved unconditionally by a man i can grow old with...die in his arms happy and wishing that on my next life time and the next, i will still marry him...

4. Be able to have a world camping expedition. Be able to explore the great Himalayas on my first stop..the Grand Canyon, Cape Cod and all the beautiful woods and beaches i'll get to learn about along the way.

5. Be a motivational speaker. Be a catalyst that will lead people back to themselves, loving who they are and who they will become and inspire to be a great contribution to other people by also becoming a catalyst themselves.


6. Study fine arts in Paris...have my own exhibit

7. Go to India and visit Taj Mahal. See and experience how Gandhi spent his great days...Get to experience the history, depth and wisdom of India.

8. Spa all i want in one day...pampering... relaxing..Heaven on earth

9. Performing in a big musical...dancing... singing... acting

10. Have my own library with all my favorite books. Some of which are my own best sellers.

11. Open my own coffee shop/antique shop/Internet cafe/bookstore where every single soul would feel they belong and they can connect

12. Figure skate...bungee jump...sky dive...and compete in a dance sport competition.



89 dreams more to go...

from tolstoy with love...

Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

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I've been thinking how easy life would have been if everybody do everything they do out of love...

but on second thought...it is never easy when you love coz...

loving would entail us accepting flaws so we too can be purified ...
loving means we must over-come obstacles along the way so we can be in a place where another level of challenges await promising a higher sense of fulfillment...
to love is to be willing to go an extra mile to turn plain into magical and unforgettable...
it is facing our greatest fears so we can be liberated and be truly free...
it is to be broken and admitting that it is the only way to become whole again...
it is to be silent when your soul would want to scream and unleash a fury unthinkable to mankind in order to empathize and gain peace and respect...
it means making a decision and choosing what feels right and allowing our heart's mind to take control and be decisive so we can be certain for sure at the end of the road if we got a diamond or a worthless stone...only then can we be in control again as a new cycle of loving begins...

all this we can accomplish and more because we love...

Faith and happiness

im having a very great Sunday morning. i started out laughing over a great conversation with a cool new DJ friend...while listening to beautiful music over coffee and a lot of i love yous from my Kahlil. I am super happy that i can't stop myself from telling my GOD how overjoyed i am for all these blessings.

I've been away from home for two weeks now...i miss Kahlil, my family, my room and my Cebu. but i can't be sad...there is always excitement in looking forward to coming home soon...

I'll be a 5 year old mom on May 2,2009.i thank the LORD for giving me this present, this experience...i must say this is the BEST. It wasn't easy raising a child alone...but I'm glad and I'm both humbled and proud that I've been successful and i intend to keep it that way up to my last breath...the successful motherhood I mean, not the "single thing" hopefully...

my work is giving me sooo much challenges and just as much fulfillment. there is never a dull moment in my beloved Sheridan...I am very happy here..I get to experience all emotions known to man every single day and most of the time in a really fast pace.good that i still am able to keep my sanity...thanks to a really strong sense of self.

Bottom line...everything in my life is almost complete except for one...GOD leading him to me...or let me rephrase it...GOD making me realize for sure that HE has led him to me already. But I'm keeping the faith...

it does not end here...

THE REASON

he is God's greatest gift to a prodigal daughter
a lost soul's guiding compass
a blind heart's walking stick
a reason that tamed an unruly passion
a north star that guides a searching spirit...always constant always bright
He is someone i could never compromise.
He is my KAHLIL

soar high!